Virtual Light by William Gibson
I read this book on the recommendation of my former preceptor. He was also the one who introduced me to Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. I have never hid my fascination with science fiction, but I have to say that now I am a certified futuristic-fantasy/science-fiction NERD.
Gibson creates a future world where California is two separate states and where an HIV vaccine has been created from a canonized male prostitute. Berry Rydell is a wanna-be cop who is usually in the wrong place at the wrong time. Chevette Washington is a bicycle courier with much the same problem. They are thrown together by chance and larceny and discover the world of Virtual Light: where virtual reality is a phone call away. Special glasses and helmets allow users to plug in and connect to the cyberpunks who rule the outerverse and control much of the mayhem that can be found in cyberspace itself.
Considering that Gibson pretty much invented the idea of virtual reality, and the fact that this book was written in 1993, the concepts that he spits out are revolutionary and so ahead of their time frames that they still read like future fiction: debit cards, supermalls, white-collar hacking, cyber shenanigans. Then some of the ideas are scary enough that we should all be on the watch for them: super viruses, fundamentalist religious cults, city destroying earthquakes, rampant homelessness and shanty settlements. I am intrigued enough to read the next book in the series, Idoru.
Stay tuned.
So how does an entire week go by and I don’t post anything? I’ll tell ya. I worked Monday and Tuesday nights, slept a bit on Wednesday day then Wednesday night, worked Thursday and Friday days. Thursday I swapped with a night coworker as a favor (day staff is short so the bosses scheduled her several days during the schedule) and Friday I filled in for a coworker who is actually in the hospital as a patient.
I know that I told myself that I wanted to work days, but I just didn’t feel *at home* or comfortable there. They have their routines and ways of doing things that are foreign to me. Also, some of them are not so friendly. Whatever. Maybe I’m just REALLY used to my night peeps. Since I don’t know if working days on my floor will pan out, I’m back to thinking about L&D. The earliest I can transfer without penalty is July 20. I guess I’ll stick it out til then.
Superbowl tonight! Who Dat?!
So…I’m gonna try to be better about posting and what-have-you. Lots been going on since I last visited but I’m not sure I have all the time needed to put it all down. So…I guess the highlights??
Finished a baby blanket for a girl I graduated with. I’m working on another blanket for yet another one. I started reading again. Hopefully, I’ll be able to catch up to the Cannon Ball Read 2. I made my very first ever scrapbook (for Daddy’s birthday tomorrow). I also went running today for the first time since before Christmas. It hurt. My hams, groins, buttocks…all of it…are sore. I’ll do better when I go again on Wednesday.
Work has been going okay, I guess. Still no response to my request to move to day shift. Not that I really want to work days with some of those people. I think the manager is deliberately ignoring me. She is even sending me to a class that charge nurses have to attend and I know she isn’t thinking about my being a daytime charge nurse. We need the money anyway so I’ll keep working nights until I decide if we can live on day shift pay. Until then, baseball season has started and my life is hell. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to see my husband for a few minutes each day when he comes in from practice before I go to work. I can’t work when he has games, but he won’t be home until well after 10 so I won’t be able to see him then either. And don’t think that I’ll be able to see him on the weekends either…not with games on Saturdays and my working on Sundays. If we can’t make it until the end of April…
Until next time.
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown.
Why is Robert Langdon always running around with a hot, brainy brunette trying to save the world? I don’t know, but sometimes it makes for good reading. This time…not so much. My opinion of Brown’s work has gone downhill with each book I’ve read (DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons). I wanted to like this one, simply because it happened here in the US instead of Europe, but I found myself trudging through wondering when it would all end.
What I did like about this book was the emphasis on the *ancient mysteries* that the author so desperately tried to beat in to my head. Mr. Brown, I get it. You want us to question the establishment and search for happiness within ourselves and not allow our minds to be inundated with the propoganda of structured religion and thought. Did you really need to write three different books pimping the same message? Probably not.
I don’t know if I’ll be seeing this movie. Hasn’t been made yet? Don’t worry – it will be. Give Tom Hanks a few months to grow out his mullet and have the tweed dry-cleaned and he’ll be raking in the dough once more…it just won’t be coming from my wallet. I prefer my Masonic conspiracies to come from Nic Cage. Thanks anyway.
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Read by William Rabkin
Okay. So this book is a bit of fluff, but I enjoyed it immensely! I’m a HUGE fan of the television show Psych on USA and this book is written about Shawn and Gus in the same vein as the show. Coach got it for me as a stocking stuffer (all of our krimmas presents had to fit in our stockings…another post – the stockings I made for him and Bean).
Shawn and Gus solve a murder. Gus’s car (picture it from the show) gets impounded for Shawn’s parking tickets. The guy at the impound lot isn’t what he claims to be (of course)…Gus gets hit by a car and sent to ICU…Shawn gets a new admirer who claims to be receiving his psychic thoughts. What else can possibly go wrong, you might ask? A grade school nemesis with a grudge, beautiful busty ladies, the Santa Barbara PD, and Shawn’s dad…
It was a nice change of pace after a hectic holiday season. I needed the mental breather. My next one was much deeper and required more thinking. So much so that I can’t review it for a few more days.
Until then…
What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Got stranded in Memphis and had to spend the night in the airport motel.
Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year? I don’t make resolutions.
Did anyone close to you give birth? ME!
Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully.
What countries did you visit? Just this one.
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? A savings cushion.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? Childbirth.
What was your biggest failure? Not allowing the childbirth to come when it wanted.
Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope.
What was the best thing you bought? Our first home.
Where did most of your money go? Bills and food.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? My children.
What song will always remind you of 2009? “This Life” by Curtis Stigers (theme from Sons of Anarchy)
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier: I am comfortable at work and my family life keeps me busy. I’ve picked up a new hobby and kept working on some old ones.
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter: pregnancy is not kind to me!
iii. richer or poorer? definitely richer: my cup runneth over.
What do you wish you’d done more of? running
What do you wish you’d done less of? griping and complaining
How did you spend Christmas? Christmas Eve in one of the most infuriating places on Earth – Natchitoches. My parents’ next door neighbors popped fireworks until well after midnight and I couldn’t get me or my kids to sleep. plhhhhhh
Did you fall in love? more every day even though we have our moments
What was your favorite TV program? Sons of Anarchy
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t exactly hate anyone but there are some people with whom I work that I don’t particularly care for.
What was the best book you read? Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. The man invented the word AVATAR for crying out loud.
What did you want and get? a new baby girl, a new house, a BSN, a nursing license, a job…I was very blessed!
What did you want and not get? A tummy tuck with lipo…
What was your favorite film of this year? too many to choose from. Avatar, New Moon, The Princess and the Frog, Star Trek, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince…
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I worked the night before so I sang to myself at midnight. My family members texted me as I turned 34.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying? natural childbirth
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? jeans, sweats, and scrubs
What kept you sane? not much 
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? none of them, really. I do love me some E! though.
What political issue stirred you the most? Health care reform.
Who did you miss? My brother.
Who was the best new person you met? my night crew: most of the nurses rock and those that don’t provide comic relief.
What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009? True friends (and family) will be there no matter what. Screw the rest of ‘em.
I hate waking up alone in my house. I’m working the weekend (yet, again) so Coach has taken the kids to my mom’s to play and spend the night. I’m so tired of being in this funk and I don’t know how to snap out of it. I feel like some of the people I work with could care less if I’m there or not. I feel like most of the time I could care less if I was there, too. I am ambivalent about the whole experience, which is par for the course with me anyway.
It’s weird that I can’t always write what I want to say here because I know that people are reading this and would misunderstand what I’m trying to say. For such an intelligent person (toot, toot) I can be a verbal imbecile quite often.
I’m getting some new tattoos. I want a lotus with fire and smoke and an ohm on my right calf. The lotus is a symbol of rebirth and I think that I am all about reinventing myself every chance I get. I’m waiting for the completion of my first race for that one…yet another reinvention. I also want some butterflies on my right upper back for my girls. I’m also thinking about a phoenix somewhere (another symbol of rebirth) but I haven’t fully committed to the idea of a full leg or a sleeve, so I’m letting that idea stew. I can’t put anything on my midsection (front or back) because of the disgusting amount of skin and fat there. My placements are limited. I wish I could draw something myself.
Oh well…time to make the donuts. Not really, but you know what I mean. Time for me to get up and make myself presentable for the patients.
I’ve been put in charge all weekend. One of our regular charge nurses (who doesn’t particularly like being in charge) had three deaths of grandparents in her family in two weeks. She felt like she needed a break from charge (since we only have two regular charge nurses at night) and also felt that I was ready and capable. She took a team last night instead of being in charge and will do the same tonight. She asked if I was okay with being charge before she handed over the reins and said that she was glad that she could get some time as a floor nurse every once in a while. I guess that I’m okay with all of that. She’s a bit younger than I am, so I think that she might believe that I am mature and capable of making the best of the situation.
I also heard through the grapevine that I put my name in for day shift. Why would my manager be discussing my moving to days with other nurses before talking to me about it? Great question. I am having a pretty good week at work (much better than last week) but I still think that I need to make the move for the sake of my marriage and my family. My husband has been awesome but I think that he’d like to have me around a little more while we are both actually conscious. My girls need mama at home at night. I love my night people, but I need my family a little more.
I haven’t given much thought lately to changing departments/floors, either. I think that I’m getting the hang of this surg/med overflow business and I’d like to hang around to see what the future has in store for me. Having Pee Wee made me remember how much I love the labor room but I like the mixture of variety and routine that I get from my floor.
I did wind up running on Friday. It was a good run and I improved on my distance. I can’t bring myself to run on days when I’m working (especially three in a row) so I’ll be back on the trail tomorrow. I ordered some new shoes and they should be in sometime this week. I gotta take care of my feet! I’m also gonna get some of the Skechers Shape-Ups to wear at work. They might be MBT knock offs, but I think they’ll do just fine. They have gotten positive endorsements from the nurses who normally wear MBTs so I think I’ll give it a shot.
I’m in a major funk these days. The 5k was a no-go. Realy long story that pretty much revolves around my letting someone else take care of the minute details of my life. I’m trying to let go of trying to control every little thing in my life and I keep getting screwed with it so, yeah, I’m a little pissy.
Since I didn’t get the chance to run the race I’ve lost all motivation to continue running. Even looking at myself naked in the mirror isn’t enough for me right now. As it is, i’m sitting in my car posting this looking at the Fit Trail on campus where I do some of my runs. I’ve made it up to running for 30 minutes without taking a break. Now I just need to get my distance/speed up to competition level. That’s the thing though – I don’t like to compete for anything so I don’t really care. It sucks to be intrinsically motivated.
My time at work is also getting more difficult for me. Nights are really taking a toll on my family life and yet my manager is not hearing me when I tell her these things. I have been put in *charge* twice so far, which is surprising to me considering that I am such a new nurse. It is quite surprising to some of my coworkers as well. Here is my timeline:
May 9, 2009 – graduation
May 28, 2009 – NCLEX
June 1, 2009 – found out I passed
June 8, 2009 – first day of work
August 2, 2009 – off orientation
August 18, 2009 – maternity leave
October 5, 2009 – returned to work
November 18, 2009 – first time to charge
This all seems a bit sudden to me. That’s not even six months of practicing as a registered nurse. Not that patient safety was compromised in any way because I am highly competent and vigilant so I did a good job. I just feel like I’m being taken advantage of because I actually can and do carry out my duties well. One night I worked I had 7 patients (which is not unusual for us – more like the norm) but one of the LPNs only had three. The charge nurse that night (not one of our usuals) gave me a patient of the LPN’s because he was getting IV morphine every hour and the charge didn’t want to have to give all of those pushes for the LPN. That reeks of laziness. I also have to start/restart all my own IVs. And give all of my own pain meds. Some of the nurses who’ve been working for years can’t get their crap together to get it done in a timely manner and rather than holding them accountable the charge nurses have to catch the slack. So hard work does not get rewarded and laziness begets laziness.
And why can’t supper (gumbo at least) cook itself? I’ve made Coach three gumbos in a month and burned the crap out of my fingers each time with hot roux. I’m tired of box dinners but don’t have time or motivation to come up with anything new. All I really want to do is climb into bed and cover my head up as I sink into a deep depression. Not like that’ll happen either. I have entirely too much crap to keep up with.
Whatever. I guess I’ll just deal with it like I deal with everything else: clench my jaws, work up a migraine, and get it done. Off to run now, I guess. 41 degrees out and not getting any warmer. I work tonight so I need to nap today before I go get the girls…on top of cooking supper, washing clothes, returns to the stores, more krimmas preparations…
Egad. It has been a while since I posted something other than a book review. I’m clipping along getting my books in week by week, but I don’t have time for much else. I’m trying to crochet our krimmas stockings (that means four of them!) and I’ve been training for the big 5k tomorrow. I surely hope that I’m ready for the race. Even if not, I’ve enjoyed getting out there and hitting the asphalt.
The running is doing me some good mentally. Some days I can literally feel the stress leaving my clenched jaws as I make way with my snail’s pace. But I’m just glad that I have the ability to get out there and do it. One of my patients this week originally came in with gangrene of the fifth toe. After a few days of watch and wait, it was amputated. Then we played watch and wait with his fourth toe. After about a week’s worth of constant antibiotic treatment and no improvement, he had the leg amputated below the knee. That is the third such case I’ve seen on the floor since I started working there in June. Every day that I complain about shin splints or sore arches I think about those guys who don’t have either to complain about.
So I keep running.
I only wish that my return to the world of the exercising would do something for my figure. Sure, I have slightly more muscle definition in my quads (nine weeks after I started – woo hoo), but I wish that I could say something…anything…was happening with my waistline. Maybe I’m not pushing myself hard enough with the cardio. It feels like I am. Maybe I need to add some strength training on the days I’m not running. I’m still not going to join a gym. I’ll have to figure out something to do at home. I’ll run outside when it’s 44 degrees (like most of this week) or raining (like on Tuesday) but I’ll not run on a treadmill if I don’t absolutely have to.
And I keep running.
I put the Pee Wee in the car seat this morning to take her to day care and I was struck by how much she has grown. These two pictures were taken in the same car seat with the same iPhone camera about 3 months apart. Can you tell the difference?
